The Promised Monster IV: A Rebel Yell

I'm not gonna lie to you people - this has been a pretty tiring day. When you update your site as infrequently as I do, it takes a lot out of you when you make a promise that you're going to make up for an entire summer of laziness in a 24 hour span. It probably wouldn't be nearly as hard if I didn't have to track down these pictures but I'm here to entertain, and as long as I'm getting paid the big bucks, then surely I can crank out two more posts tonight. What's that you say? Ah it's probably not that important. Anyway, do you want to here me complain, or do you want to hear about Baltimore? Baltimore it is!

PART FOUR: In the midnight hour, she cried "BAL-TI-MORE!" With a rebel yell, she cried "BAL-TI-MORE!" "BAL-TI-MORE!"

The last time I was in Baltimore I was there with Jim Magee who was able to get tickets for Cal Ripken Jr.'s last game. Well, it's almost been four years since that happened, and last week Brother and I decided to make the short trip down because, quite frankly, Philadelphia was starting to get boring. If it wasn't for random road construction along the way, both trips could ideally be under two hours each which is always a good thing. We wanted to leave ourselves plenty of time so we got there a couple hours before the game which gave us time to walk down to the Inner Harbor to get something to eat and to kill some time. We wound up eating at some food court where the following "food" was being sold:


What does that look like to you? I can tell you what it looks like to me. Technically, I guess it would be vegetarian. 

After we ate, we looked in some of the shops where in one of them there was a whole wall dedicated to pirates, which I unfortunately forgot to photograph. I did, however, take a picture of this poorly made stuffed John F. Kennedy doll with a piece of felt in one hand for Profiles in Courage, and in the other hand he held his boat PT-109 from WWII which wasn't quite to scale. It was too pathetic to buy, even as a joke purchase:


Only a truly great man can hold a book in one hand and a boat in the other. What else do I have to say? 

On the way out of the shopping center we came across these five college-age kids who were doing their best Rockapella impression for a bunch of suckers. When we were walking by them though they won me over by singing "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. They made it sound classy and they harmonized pretty good considering the rate of cargo shorts/pants to performer (5 to 5). Their CD should drop by Christmas time. You can go ahead and cop that. Tell your friends, cause the Cargo Five are gonna be huge-time.


Cargo shorts are everywhere to me. When I close my eyes, they're all I see. They're everything I know that makes me believe I'm not alone. Alone. 

Here's a picture of the Aquarium we didn't go to:




Up to this point it was a really nice day not only because of the weather, but also because we were having ourselves a good time out on our own in the big city. The game ahead of us, though, between the Orioles and the Texas Rangers looked like it was going to be a slugfest because both teams have great offenses and absolutely no pitching whatsoever. Unfortunately, both offenses decided to take the night off and the Rangers wound up winning 2-1. The only exciting part of the game was that Brother and I were able to move to seats in foul territory in left field so that we can be seen on TV everytime a certain camera focused in on the pitcher. Since we have the MLB Extra Innings at home (which allows us to get almost every game) our parents were able to see us on TV for just about every batter. They were able to describe what we were wearing, plus we had the two biggest heads in Baltimore at the time which only made us more recognizable. I'll close out Part Four with the best pictures from the game, and a little surprise before we get to the BIG surprise of Part Five.


This is Eutaw Street which is behind right field (which, let's be honest here, you should know all about). That poor guy on the far left seems to have lost his mommy. 


"I never got 3,000 hits. Period." - Rafael Palmeiro. For additional jokes on Palmeiro and steroids please watch Conan. 


Here are the seats that got us our big break on TV. If you have good eyes you can see the camera right beyond the pitcher. 

Here's the mini-surprise. As it turns out, Jim Magee never left Baltimore four years ago after the last time I was there. If you know Jim, I think you'll agree that this guy looks exactly like him from the angle in this picture. This guy has the same exact hair, is wearing the same shirts Jim loves, and has the sleeves rolled up in the same way. You can't tell from this angle, but this guy is also wearing the exact same glasses that Jim took from Tom Brennan. See for youselves:


Also just like Jim, this guy only has four fingers on his right hand. Good stuff. 

To show you how much these two guys look alike, here a front on picture of Jim in the same outfit:


Not pictured: Jim's vodka. 

OK, I'll admit it - I pretty much only wrote this post so I could link you to Rockapella's website. They're totally worth it.

To be concluded . . . . . $