40 yards, not ounces (Homecoming part II)

After the Stat Boy fiasco we headed out into the parking lot to see who we could find. The big thing with Homecoming obviously is the all day tailgating and pretty much nothing else. The lots were packed with food and alcohol which I guess is the reason why I had to spend 45 minutes looking for a parking space. It also looks like for the rest of the Homecomings in our lives that we will never have a tailgating spot with a nice spread and plenty to drink because it is so much easier to steal everything from other people than to do whatever it takes to have your own station. The highlight of my parking lot experience had to be my conversation with Bevon Robin (the second all-time points leader in Fordham basketball history and one of my idols) that I remember nothing about. I think I just kept asking him if he was "still working with the kids" while smiling like a retard in a retard candy store.

We all kinda split up and met again a few times throughout the afternoon and early night and to be honest with you, I can't remember much from that part of the day. The next thing I knew, I was at the softball/artificial turf football field at Fordham with Brian. Brian happens to be a big fan of sandals and as it happens he was wearing them that day (I'll get back to that in a second). For some reason we were laying down on the concrete section of the field behind the endzone because we were dead tired even though it might not have even been 8:30 at the time. I'm pathetic, I know. I gather enough energy to sit up and I looked over at Brian and noticed that he wasn't wearing anything on his feet. Since I thought this was something we agreed to, I decided to take off my socks and shoes (not in that order) and join the barefoot club. Looking back, I have no idea why I felt that this was some sort of rule that had to be followed if you were drunk at a football field but lucky for me I was the only one awake at the time so no one would even know this until right now. With my feet naked I decided to do the next logical thing - run 40s on the football field and try to time myself. As you could imagine, the timing part of this didn't go so well since it was dark and I had inexplicably also taken of my watch and put it inside my shoes along with my dignity. Anyway, running around the football field gave me a boost of energy and surprisingly made me very sober. In fact I was as sober as a Jesuit, wait, bad example. As a newly sober man I was very impressed with my running mainly because I had always thought I was much faster in my barefeet which turns out is true. Unfortunately this still makes me faster than only about 3% of the world's population, but still, I was feeling great about my performance. Great enough to go back to sleep. When I woke up again it was 9:30 and Brian was up and we decided that we were OK to function again in society and we went to Puggles and then back to Sataten Island, the last place I thought I'd be sleeping that night. OK, the next to last.

The final chapter in this overrated (by me) Homecoming saga comes tomorrow so until then, you suck.

RANDOM THOUGHT: It must suck to work in a flower shop and also a bakery. I've never met a baker who wasn't on the verge of suicide, and if I ever meet a florist I'm sure it would be the same.