I bet I could throw a football over those mountains (Homecoming part III)

Well we've finally come to the thrilling conclusion of my three part Homecoming extravaganza post, and if you still care, or ever cared for that matter, then I'll personally come to wherever you are and shake your hand. If you happen to have hooks instead of hands, then I'll give a nervous wave and be on my way, although if you had hooks it would be hard for you to operate a mouse to access this or any site, unless there's some sort of special mouse replacement device for you people. Now to the important non-hook issues.

Since Brian and I were at his house in Staten Island, it would've been stupid for us to go back up to Fordham for no reason so we watched the Giants murder the Cowboys instead. It really pains me to say it, but if it wasn't for Donovan McNabb's performance so far, I think Tiki Barber would be the leading MVP candidate, which even his gay twin brother Ronde couldn't have predicted five weeks ago. This last paragraph was only written so I could find a way to use this picture:



After the game ended we decided to just drive to a movie theater and see whatever was playing by the time we got there. The winning movie that coincided with our plan was Friday Night Lights which I kinda wanted to see, and turned out to be much better than I expected, and I think I'll buy the DVD whenever it comes out. Anyway, it's what happened before and towards the end of the movie that made this event my second favorite move experience ever behind The Day After Tomorrow. We got the tickets and headed for the concessions where I planned on buying my mandatory blue slurpee and Brian wanted to get whatever it is he eats when we saw three of the longest lines you'll ever see on a Sunday evening. Since we had some time to spare we waited in the thrid line which of course turned out to be the slowest line. Directly ahead of us in line was this skinny 18 or 19 year old girl who alone for all we could tell based on the information that we had. When it finally got to be her turn in line she went ahead and order what has to be the record for most food bought at a movie concession counter. Included in this purchase was one of those package deals that every theater across the country offers which consisted of: two giant sodas, the largest possible tub of popcorn available, and a choice of two out of three candy options. One of the candy choices was a candy called "Skwinkles" which led to this hilarious conversation:

Kid behind the counter: What candy you want?
Girl ordering: I don't know. I want to get the best for my money.
Kid: Ya want Sminkles?
Girl: I want Snickers.
Kid: Ya can't have Snickers man.
Girl: What you mean?
Kid: Ya can only get one of dese (points at sign)
Girl: Fine. Give me Schminkles.

I, of course, being a human, could barely contain myself which could've been a problem if the two people who had the conversation weren't retarded. So we finally got our stuff and headed off "laugh-walking" to get our seats where it only got weirder. Here's a picture of the candy in question:



The theater turned out to be pretty empty compared to how full the lines were, so Brian and I were able to get seats in the front row of the stadium seating area with the obvious buffer seat spearating us. Right as the light went down, this creepy looking guy who was almost 30 I'd say walked right in front of were we were sitting. The problem was that his head was turned and facing us and he had this even creepier homicidal grin on his face. There was no question that he was looking at us, though Brian will claim, incorrectly, that he was just looking at me. I wish I could describe to you want this guy looked like, and when I can I'll dedicate a whole post to his appearance. Just like when we were in line, however, our first reaction was to laugh uncontrolably instead of fearing for our lives. We laughed for a good five minutes into the movie but lucky for us we didn't miss anything. The sad part is that we might have completely forgotten about this guy thanks to some hilarious unintenionally comedic moments and performances in the film. That is we would have forgotten if he didn't do the exact same thing again, which he did, with about five minutes left until the credits. We definitely couldn't control ourselves this time and spent the last five minutes the exact same way we did the first five, except this time it continued all the way into the parking lot and on the ride back to Brian's house. Maybe all of you loser readers wouldn't have found this as funny as the two of us did, and maybe once I figure out how to describe this guy you will, but the point is that I don't care because I'd kill your mother just to have that guy walk by me with his creepy smile for a third time, unless of course that guy beats me to it.

Fin.