You Ain't Even In Mi Clasa!

Just this morning, I was looking through a notebook of mine where I sometime write down ideas that I'll most likely forget I ever came up with becuase I wrote them down in some notebook that I can never find. Well, last winter to spring, I sat in on one of my dad's night classes at St. Joseph's University that he teaches pretty much every semester. I took this class for two reasons: one, because I always wanted to see what a class of his was like, and two, because my friend Mike (the owner of the car I showed you in the last post) was in the class and we haven't had a class together since high school. What was great about this class was that I wasn't paying for it, and I didn't have to do any work because I wasn't being graded. Overall, it was a really good class, and I learned some stuff about politics in the 1960's when I decided to pay attention, but the main reason why I liked the class so much is because I got to see what class was like at a different college, plus I could make fun of the kids in the class, and also write down whatever came into my mind, and it would look like I was taking notes. I wasted so much time not wasting enough time at Fordham. This post will consist of the things that I wrote down during class. It's not new to me, but it's new to you. It should be noted that St. Joseph's overrated star basketball player, Pat Carroll (who wound up winning A10 MVP) was in this class. Here goes literally nothing:

- My return to cursive so far has been a dissappointment.

- Older students (30+) are all bitter and depressing. They know how much life sucks, and they show just how many times they've been worked over in their lives.

- A kid named Mike (another Mike, not my friend) used the word "scumbag" and referrenced "the F-word," and came up with the phrase, "social junk" all in one answer.

- Classrooms that have TVs bother me because all I can think about is how much I want to watch it. You could put anything on too, and I'd enjoy every second.

-If people in certain classes have the same first name, they should have to go up against their counterparts in some sort of competition. Each person must compete in some way no matter if they want to or not. You can throw your challenge if you have some sort of nickname that you want to be called, but you at least have to show up and fake effort.

- Black socks are more comfortable than white socks. I'd like grey socks more if I could choose a way to spell gray.

- Things Pat Carroll would rather be doing right now:
1.) playing as himself in March Madness 2005
2.) Sleeping
3.) Crying that Jameer Nelson and Delonte West are no longer on the team
4.) Sleeping
5.) Playing poker with the Russians on the team.



- Car port? I really, really hate that term. My God I hate it. It's like calling a bottle a liquid holder. Give me garage or give me death. It sounds like a term from caveman times, though I believe that modern cavemen would come up with a better name if given ample time.

- A great poker nickname would be "The Prophet," not "Silent Steve."

- I'd like to know more about Chron's Disease.

- The doors on handicap bathrooms shouldn't be so heavy.

- If you can't laugh at yourself you should be shot, and if you can't laugh at all you should take lessons.

- A lifelong dream of mine has always been to step foot inside a genuine RV.



- My favorite thing about a hotel room is putting down my bags and learning the channels on the TV.

- Change isn't real money. It's such a burden. I never want to make much noise when I walk, in fact, I take pride in how silently I walk. My goal is to never have anyone say, "Boy, that John Duffy sure is a loud walker."

- Classes go faster in your mind when your father is teaching.

-They have "No Tear" shampoo so if it gets in your eyes you don't cry, but I cry regardless of the type of shampoo because I'm dissappointed that I couldn't keep it out of my eyes.

This next section of thoughts was from the Monday after the Super Bowl, meaning the Eagles lost the Super Bowl the night before this class. It was the Worst Moday of All Time.

- I don't think anyone did the reading for this week. I wonder why?

- I haven't been outside today until now, but I know how quiet it was. Everyone is depressed and you don't have to look very hard to see that.

- I don't know why people wear their team gear the day after their team loses a big game. Sure, it's great that you are still with your team, but everytime someone looks at you they are reminded of how painful the loss feels.

- I was taught the Scientific Method every year, and I couldn't even tell you one step now if you held a gun to my head.

- A reporter on NPR misspoke and said that the Patriot's SB victory was their "turd" in four years, which cheered me up for about six seconds.

- People should use the word "smart" more to describe things that are cool.

- The order of groups that were guaranteed a laugh if you mentioned them randomly in jokes or conversations over the last 8 or so years went: monkeys, midgets, Canadians, Asians, Mexicans, and Jesus. I need to think of a new group soon. I think Samoans might work.



- I wish The Box still existed. I always loved watching it and trying to guess what video would be played next, though it always wound up being Coolio's, "Fantastic Voyage." You just don't get that sense of communal excitment from TV today.

- I don't get how people have the balls to just get up in the middle of class and walk out with all their stuff. I guess they think that they can do whatever they want because they're paying for it. On the other hand, if you are late for class by more than ten minutes, you should just forget about it and stay where you are, especially if there aren't a lot of people in your class. A girl showed up today 45 minutes into the class, and lucky for her, no one said anything.

- I have no idea what color my shirt is. I thought it was navy blue at first, but the more I look at it the more I think it's a faded black, or some odd green color. I need to figure this out soon before I go crazy.

- My God it's hot in here.

- What was navy blue called before the first Navy?

- I really like the design of the question mark. It just fits so perfectly with what it's supposed to represent. I think that English should adopt the Spanish way of using the upsidedown question mark at the beginning of the question, with the normal question mark at the end. This would make reading so much easier and more interesting. I dare anyone out there to argue against this. How doesn't this solution make the most sense and imrpove the way English speaking people read? Same goes for exclamation points!

- I don't think that sweatpants are a sign that someone has given up. Sweatpants are kind of awesome if they are presentable. On the other hand, the full matching sweatsuit used in non-exercise situations may very well be a sign of surrender.

- You know, I've always looked down on blue ink in pens, but now that I think about it, they're not so bad. Blue is probably my favorite color, but I always felt weird using blue pens. If I had to start all over again, I'd give blue pens a better shot at becoming my ink of choice.

- I'm almost certain now that this shirt is navy blue.

The rest are from other random classes. Congratulations if you're still reading.

- "Albeit" is a cool word in both look and meaning. It's three words in only six letters. Take that, "nevertheless."

- I think the worst part of a duel is not the part where you get shot, but when your face gets slapped with the glove.

- It's impossible for someone to say "duty" without me laughing.

- I know it's late to bring this up now, but why was P. Diddy driving through a desert to get to an award show in LA in that Super Bowl commercial? My only explanation would be that he was in Las Vegas, but even if that was the case, why wouldn't he take a private jet?

- It's hard for me to say the word "versus." Whenever I say it, I say it like when it's abbreviated as "vs.," and it sounds better that way, at least to me.

- While I'm not totally for it or against it, I have a lot of respect for people who are able to drink alcohol during class and get away with it without embarassing themselves.

- If Thurgood Marshall was alive and in his prime today, his nickname would have to be, "T-Good."



- It must be a nice feeling to be ambitious.

- There is a girl in this class who actually has a laptop at her desk! Wow, this is unbelievable. I have never seen this in all my years of school. Sure, I've heard that people so this, but I never truly believed it until right now. It only took me most of my life to actually see this happen. The laptop rumor in my mind was always equal to the "hover boards actually exsited but were pulled off the market" rumor I heard when Back to the Future II was released. Thank you, St. Joe's! I knew that rarely going to these classes had to pay off in some way, and this is good enough for me.

- A paper must be due because everyone is coming in very late.

- Pat Carroll isn't here tonight and as a result, this class isn't going very smoothly on the students side. I guess this is a sign of things to come for St. Joe's basketball next year when he's gone.

- I think I need a new watch. One that maybe a grown man might wear.

- When you cross your legs you're really asking a lot out of at least one of your legs. "Hey, right leg, would you mid holding my left leg for about twenty mintues? Maybe if you behave, I'll let the left leg hold you later." Plus, what is the reason for crossing your legs in the first place? Everyone does it. I do it. I guess it's more comfortable sometimes? I dare you to walk up to some random person tomorrow and ask him/her why he/she crosses their legs. I bet that they'll have no answer for you. I guess women have to do it if they want to be considered "civilized," so they have an excuse. But what about men? Is it a power thing? Do we feel powerful with one leg up on the other, or do we just want to prove that we're kinda flexible? Do our legs get tired just sitting there doing nothing? I mean, you can only cross your legs when you're sitting down, which is something you do to rest your legs in the first place. Is it a sign of confidence? Do we want people to get a better look at our socks, or maybe show them that some of us are too manly for socks? Your legs can't fall asleep when they're both on the ground at the same time, but one and sometimes both can when they're crossed. Plus, if you don't have a particularly strong knee, and aren't in complete control of your legs, you have to hold two hands on the knee of the top leg that is doing the crossing, which can't be comfortable at all. While it may be considered cooler, crossing your legs can only lead to trouble becuase your leg can fall asleep and you could trip on something and seriously damage your legs then you won't have any legs to cross. You don't see people in wheelchairs crossing their legs, do you?

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! The girl with that laptop is sleeping! Sleeping! Wow, if I had a laptop in class I would never fall asleep. In fact, it would be the only thing that would always keep me awake. I've never fallen asleep at a computer before. Sure, I've felt brain dead, but at least I was awake. Someone who falls asleep in front of a computer, and isn't drunk at the time, does not deserve to have on, or at least have one in class. You have to figure if you're the only person in class with a laptop on your desk than you'll draw more attention than just about anyone else who isn't Pat Carroll-esque. If someone gets bored in class, they'll think to themselves, "hey, let's see what that person with the laptop is up to." You can't hide in class with a laptop on you desk, even though you have the materials to do so. This class just keeps getting better, to bad this is the last one of the semester.