It tastes like urination

Every once in a while a random article falls randomly out of the sky onto my lap that I never could've dreamed of though, in reality, it's probably just funny to me and a few others. Well, today such an article was brought to my attention by my friend, Mike (who has now been promoted to the Failure's Art Reporting Team, or FART - but only because NAMBLA was taken) who suggested that it could be the subject of a post.

The article is Delonte West's idea of a perfect romantic evening, as told to Louise K. Cornetta on ESPN.com's Page 2. For those who don't know, Delonte West is in his second NBA season and plays for the Boston Celtics, after playing at St. Joseph's University for three years (most notably his Junior year on the team that made it all the way to the Elite Eight after a perfect regular season). West has been playing well as of late and it looks like he has a promising career ahead (I always thought that he'd be a better NBA player than Jameer Nelson), and now that he's having a healthy season it looks like I might not be too far off on my prediction. Certainly, a romantic article like this one out today will help Delonte get more recognition, and even though we're all laughing at him, it's still better than the time in college where he attacked his athletic trainer, and, of course, the whole Herpes thing (which he should preface every romantic date with, but maybe all those NBA groupies are turned on by the fact that they get a souvenir, or maybe all their other STDs cancel each other out).

Herpes?:



Before I leave, here are my three favorite quotes from the article:

1.) On setting the mood: "...from there, wind blowing through the hair, boom, we get straight to the point -- we eat afterwards because I don't want to kiss no onions. I don't want to kiss you tasting like onions and steak and mushrooms and everything."

2.) Dinner Time: "When we're on the yacht eating, we're going to have some Popeyes chicken. That's for dinner. It's to let her know, put a mental image on her mind, first and foremost, if you ain't from the hood, you don't like Popeyes chicken."

3.) Wetting the Whistle: "Pop some bottles, some Moet Rose. The red Moet, we ain't popping no Kristal, it tastes like urination. We ain't popping no Kris, that's $500 a bottle. It ain't that serious. It ain't going to get you drunk."

That's all for now. Look for a Winter Olympics post either tomorrow or Thursday, and root for the pointer in tonight's thrilling conclusion of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.




Happy Valentine's Day:



ONE MORE THING: Why, in God's name, does a 78 year old man need to go hunting?