Ah ha, hush that fuss . . .

. . . everybody move to the back of the bus.

Well, sometimes it's just funny how things work out. It was only three posts ago where I finally let go of a joke I've been holding onto for a good nine years about how I thought Rosa Parks had been long dead. Little did I know at that time that it was one of the last few days I had to make that joke. What does all of this prove you may ask? Um, I don't know - how about the fact that God exists. God (probably with a little help from His/Her/Its? son, Jesus) let Rosa Parks live just long enough for me to get a cheap laugh out of up to six people about an old lady American hero who loved suing people almost as much as she loved hating buses. In fact, I can thank God even more because now Rosa Parks isn't around to sue me about this post.



Anyway, what I want to say is that I am now an inspired man. In hono(u)r of Rosa Parks I will now fight my hardest for a civil rights issue that hits close to home. Recently, it's been brought to my attention that the University of Notre Dame's athletic teams nickname is "the Fighting Irish." The Fighting Irish? Really? Wow, that just hurts. How many more years do mostly Irish-Americans like myself have to sit around and put up with this blatant racism. In case you don't realize, the name "Fighting Irish" implies that all Irish people fight because they are drunk all the time. Just look at Notre Dame's logo - it's offensitude hits you right in the face with some sort of potential left jab/left jab/right hook combo. Let me make this perfectly clear: not all drunken Irishmen are fighters. Some like to laugh, and some like to cry, while others like to sing and dance with their pale arms held tightly and motionless against their bodies. It's a simple fact of life people.



Since I am now outraged, I will from here on out boycott everything Notre Dame (including their apparently very popular football program of which I am just told exists). Just like Rosa Parks before me, I will sit in the front of the bus of nickname equality. In fact, there will only be front seats on my bus, because we are all equal at heart (except, of course, for the Samoans). I plan to take my case to the courts, and (also like Rosa Parks) sue anybody who gets in my way. If succesful, I will see to it that Notre Dame changes its nickname to "the Friendly Irish," or to, "the Overrated," depending on how I feel at the time. Now, I ask, who out there will join me on my quest for equality? Who out there will be my co-Stereotype Smasher? Is it you? If you aren't quite inspired yet, please read these lyrics to OutKast's tribute song to Rosa Parks. I dare you not to cry. I DARE YOU.

That's all for now. Remember - no Samoans. Onward and upward!