Failure's Art: End of Days? Fine, whatever.

Normally I don't write about stuff that happens to me on the day that it actually happens, but I feel like I have to change this trend today so I can warn you all of the danger coming. Today started off innocently enough, like most Thursdays in late October - kinda cold and annoying. Around noon I decided that I would take our new dog of a couple of months, Abbey, up to my cousins' house so she could run around with their dog in their backyard, which unlike my backyard, is bigger than a closet.

Everyone, Abbey. Abbey, everyone.

So, I headed on out to make the 7 minute trip with Abbey running around like a maniac in the backseat because recently her license had been suspended because her hind legs don't reach the pedals when she drives, plus, like most pointer/beagle mixes, she has no thumbs. About halfway there we were driving down your normal residential street in America when I saw three horse-sized birds in the middle of the street surrounding something which I couldn't make out at first. I slowed down as I approached these birds and I could tell that they were up to no good. Not only did they mean trouble but I had never seen birds like this before in my whole life. Since I was closer I was able to get a good look as they got out of the way of my car. While I probably exaggerated on the horse size of these birds, they were still about the size of a hawk with giant wings and black feathers. Also, they had turkey like heads that didn't seem to fit with the rest of their bodies. At this point, as you could imagine, I was pretty freaked out, but I knew that I had to turn the car around and get another look because I swore to myself years ago that I wouldn't let any no good birds take over my beloved country.

Turns out that this uncharacteristically ballsy decision was a huge mistake. When I drove back down the street the other way I couldn't see them at first, until all of a sudden, one of these giant beasts swooped down from a tree with a dead squirrel in its beak and dropped it next to the other two and they started their feast. Then, for some retarded reason, I pulled over and took out my camera phone to take pictures. Luckily, a car came down the street which distracted them from that poor tree rat, and they separated and that horrific sight was over at least for a minute. While they were broken up I drove up to the ring leader and got a pretty good picture that I have no idea how to display on this website. After I got at least one good picture I got out of there as fast as I could and tried to figure out if what I just saw was real.

It was. Also, as it turns out, I was looking at three probably escaped turkey vultures from our nearby Schuylkill Valley Nature Center. As a result, I am now on high alert for any crazy terrorist birds out there that could potentially strike you or your loved ones at any moment. Since that happened I've seen those vultures everytime I've closed my eyes, which is enough for me to add them in as Number One on my Irrational Fear updated list of three which is as follows:

1. - Crazy Terrorist Turkey Vultures

2. - statues at nighttime

3. - pumping my own gas

That is quite a scary list if any of you out there are me. Since I can't figure out how to show you the pictures that I took with my camera phone, I will leave you with pictures of turkey vultures that I found on the internet, plus a link to the website of The Turkey Vulture Society, which I will fight to destroy alongside my ongoing struggle for Nickname Equality at Notre Dame (man, I sure do have a lot on my plate).