O-HI-Oh my God this is never gonna end

I'm starting to write this post at 2:36 AM because it looks right now that I won't be sleeping anytime soon. So, I'm gonna let all you normal people who sleep and have lives know what is going on at this point of the night because everything can be different by the time I wake up. As of right now CBS has 249 for Bush and 242 for Kerry. This is all just minutes after ABC had 249 for Bush and 221 for Kerry (they hadn't counted Michigan or Hawaii for Kerry at that point). As for NBC and FOX, they had Bush getting Ohio for more than an hour now even though the other two major networks plus CNN have refused to call it yet thanks to those provisional ballots. If everything ended right now according to the leads in the remaining states (Ohio excluded) it would be Bush with 266 and Kerry at 252. Right now however it looks like Iowa, New Mexico, and Wisconsin won't be decided until sometime on Wednesday so that throws Bush back to 249 and Kerry to 242. So when you all wake up it will stand Bush's 249 to Kerry's 242, without Ohio, Iowa, New Mexico, Wisconsin and now maybe Nevada. Ohio it looks like will take between eight to maybe twelve days before every provisional ballot is counted (there could be 175,000) and there is a final amount. Iowa we should know soon, but who knows really? There's one Iowa county holding all this up for some reason that could tilt things over to Kerry. If it goes for Bush than it looks like that's the only place where Nader messed things up (I don't know his total for sure but it would swing things I think). Anyway, it should all come down to Ohio, even though Bush will probably win because Kerry could possibly be so far back that he would need to win almost every provisional ballot to take the state.

The purpose for this post was not to report the news even though it looks that way. I meant to come on and write down some crazy quotes that I caught the crazy Dan Rather saying tonight when I was flipping channels. I think I fell in love with Dan Rather tonight. He uses phrases that only make sense to him and whomever else speaks crazy talk. Here are some of the best ones:

- "This race is hotter than a devil's anvil."

- "We have eight states hanging like ripe fruit."

- "...so Pete Coors gets a silver bullet right through his Senate hopes."

- "We're on this like white on rice."

- "His lead is as thin as turnip soup."

- "Let's give the map a quick kiss."

- "In some states they beat 'em like a rented mule."

- "If a frog had side pockets he'd carry a handgun."

MY PROPOSED NAME CHANGES FOR CERTAIN STATES:

North Dakota ---> Top Dakota
South Dakota ---> Bottom Dakota
North Carolina ---> Top Carolina
South Carolina ---> Bottom Carolina
West Virgina ---> Left Virginia
Virginia ---> Right Virginia
New Jersey ---> Armpitland
Rhode Island ---> Rhode
Illinois ---> Illannoy
Oklahoma ---> Oklahomo
New Mexico ---> Clean Mexico

POSSIBLE TITLE FOR A FUTURE POST: Tim Russert is a pathetic fathead.



***ONE MORE THING***
This post has been edited about five times by me in the last half hour because everything keeps changing. It's very possible that none of this makes sense. I'm too confused right now to edit this anymore than I already have. I started this post an hour ago so I guess it's fitting that I can't figure out how to completely finish it considering the topic.